8 Modern Dating Rules Every Single (Supposedly) Should Know

Match.com's latest survey reveals new dating rules for today's modern single.


Bad news bears, my friends: Match.com has released the results of a new survey that shows the dating rules and habits have changed. Again. But even though the playing field has become a bit of uncharted territory, some traditional dating dos and dont's still apply.


"It's important for singles to know that the dating rules have changed," says Whitney Casey, Relationship Expert for Match.com. "This study finds that dating behaviors drastically differ between the ages. Younger singles are more likely to friend their date on Facebook, communicate by text after a date, and be evasive about their availability if they're not interested in a second date. Whereas older singles are more cautious when it comes to dating in the digital era."


That said, here are the eight dating habits—new and old—you need to know about.


1. He asks, she pays. The one traditional dating "do" that still stands is the general belief men are supposed to make the first move. However, Match.com found 41% of women would offer to pick up the check on a first date. You hear that guys? If you ask us out for dinner, we might just foot the bill. Sounds like a win-win to us.


2. All it takes is 15 minutes. To decide if you and your date have chemistry, that is. Thirty-one percent of both men and women agree that 15 minutes of a date is all it takes to decide. Worried your next date will bail if he's not into you? Don't, because Match.com found only 12 percent of singles would actually leave before the night was over.


3. Honesty is (still) the best policy. Not enjoying your time out with what's his name? Tell him. The survey found 52 percent of singles think it's best to politely tell your date if you're not interested, and we agree. Neither party gets anything out of being dishonest, and you never know when you'll run into him or her again later in life. Remember: manners matter.

4. Don't go all the way. At least not until well after your first date. Eighty percent of singles agree that you should not have sex on the first date. Holding out on your date builds mystery, and if your date can get it all in one night, they're less motivated to call back for round two.


5. It's OK to follow-up. It's just a matter of when. Forty-eight percent of women like to follow up after a first date within 24 hours where as 68 percent of men like to "play it cool" and extend the follow-up to almost three days after your date.



6. Classic communication is best. In this digital era, there are hundreds of ways to follw up on a date: text, e-mail, instant message, etc. But surprisingly enough the survey found 80 percent of singles prefer to talk over the phone.


7. Yes, you can Facebook friend your date (but not too quickly). Ah, the social media dilemma that plagues all singles. As far as friend requesting your date goes, 21 percent of young singles say it's OK to request a friend after 2-3 dates while 11 percent of older singles wait until the relationship is exclusive to do so. These low percentages mean keep your add-friend trigger finger under control while in the early phase of dating.


8. Spend time with your friends. Sometimes your friends get a bad rap when it comes to dating, but 50 percent of men and 35 percent of women will introduce their dates to their friends within the first month of dating, regardless of how old they are. courtesy of love tango.com

Sexonomics

Somewhere along the way in my generation, sex has become an acceptable and tradable commodity.  Gone are the days of courtship, wooing, mutual connection, and established monogamy and in it's place is a disturbing trend of one night stands and a sense of entitlement--for both genders.

In the past 30 days alone, I have been asked to "come back to my place" on the first date, and upon my polite refusal, was treated to the Houdini in the following days.  I am definitely not a prude nor do I feel that sex has to be 'earned', however, it is most certainly not on the table before I even know your last name.  I don't care how many times your game has worked in the past, I am not interested in causal sex that will historically only lead to disillusionment and disappointment down the road.  I am a modern woman, but not to be confused with promiscuous.

Sex, in my opinion, is an act that should be carefully considered and not offered to every interested party--otherwise its value is diminished.  If it's available to everyone with no pre requisites, how is that in any way special or meaningful?  It's human nature to want what you can't have, so if it's ultimately offered up to every tom, dick and harry that comes along, it's no longer a hot commodity. It's the basic economics of supply and demand, even without any emotion in the mix.

And just for the record, I have never, and will never send out nude selfies, so please refrain from requesting such photos.

If He Wants to Date You, He Will

Having spent time in the south and on the other side of the Mississippi, I have had the opportunity to assess dating etiquette from both perspectives.  Frighteningly enough, manners seem to have eroded on both shores.

As a female, I am of course a proponent of equal rights and an even playing field.  But there is still something to be said for letting a man be a man.  And as men, they are intrinsically wired to be the pursuer; to chase, to conquer.  When females change the game, and become the aggressors, the boundaries become blurred. I don't believe for one moment that feminism requires I take on all aspects of being male and female, especially when it comes to dating.

What happened to the man asking the women out on a date?  Or for her number? Or being the one to initiate a call or text? Or make the first move? I actually enjoy being pursued, the door opened, my chair being pulled out for me.  Where did it all go wrong?

As I've trespassed the dating scene since my divorce, I have noticed a growing crop of women who are obsessive, compulsive, out of touch with reality, and basically stage 5 cling ons.  They not only pursue with a vengeance, they refuse to abandon the chase even when rejected.  Being raised in the south, this is a foreign idea to me.  The basic DNA of a man is to be the hunter, and we risk emasculation by eliminating that ability.  I grew up with a father who leaves notes for my mother, buys flowers weekly, and wouldn't dream of her opening her own car door.  She is his queen and he her king.  But I feel as if he is a dying breed, nearly extinct, and firmly on the endangered species list.

I find myself surrounded by men who are as confused by their role as I am.  When it comes to dating, they are lazy, lethargic, and possess borderline communication skills, as if they don't know if they should be the pursuer or the pursued. We're told to 'play it cool' and not be 'too available' as if admitting to finding some modicum of interest in someone is fatal.  What's the harm in admitting to actually wanting to spend an evening with someone?  Are we doomed to a lifetime of games, misdirection, and outright lies?

No matter the pressure to conform, I refuse.  As my mother once said, "If he wants to date you, he will."

Dating Application ~ Sadly, this is now a necessity

I require this to be filled out in its entirety by all new applicants...

Thank you for your interest in dating me. Due to the high volume of applicants, I will not be able to reply to all. Allow four to six weeks for processing. A $10 processing fee may be imposed for incomplete or illegible applications.

Applicant’s Full Name______________________
Applicant’s Nickname(s) _____________________________
Age _____
Height_____
Weight______
Occupation _____________________________
Vision Score _________
Credit Score__________


Please state specific reason(s) for your last breakup.

Has a restraining order ever been filed against you?

Have you ever been convicted of a felony?

Do you currently have a driver’s license?

Have you ever been married?

Have you ever undergone sexual reassignment surgery?

Are you currently taking any medications?

Do you have piercings/tattoos? Please specify where and how many.

Do you floss your teeth?

Do you wax/shave your chest?

Do you wax, shave, or pluck other regions of your body?

Do you partake in recreational drugs? Which ones and how often?

Do you smoke cigarettes/cigars?

How many drinks do you consume on average on a weeknight?

How many drinks do you consume on average on a weekend?

What time do you wake up on weekends?

On which side of the bed do you prefer to sleep?

How often do you travel for work? Or do you work at all?

How much time do you spend looking in the mirror per day?

Does it take you longer than fifteen minutes to get ready?

How many “psycho” ex-girlfriends do you have?

How many exes are you still hooking up with?

When was the last time you had sexual intercourse? ___ a few hours ago ____a few days ago ____a few months ago ____a few years ago

How many porn subscriptions are currently in your name?

Can you provide written documentation that you are free of STDs?

Do you have any sexual dysfunctions that cannot be treated by a doctor?

How many one night stands have you had in the last six months?

On average, how many women do you sleep with at one time?

Please specify all fetishes.

Are you a giver (and not necessarily in the financial sense)?

Check applicable sleep conditions: ___ sleep apnea ___bed wetting ___ sleep-walking 
___sleep-talking ___random thrashing ____cover hogging

Do you have a reputation in the San Francisco Bay Area? If so, please specify.


Have you ever dated any of my friends or family members?

Have you ever been suspected of cheating on a former girlfriend/wife?

Do you read books without pictures?

Do you own cats?

Do you like garlic?

Do you have children?

Do you like children?

Do you live alone or with a roommate?

Do you have a good relationship with your mother?

Is she prone to mood swings or currently taking anti-depressants?

Do you wear cologne? Please spray this form with the kind you are likely to wear on a date.

What is your preferred mode of communication? ___ text ___phone ___email ___IM ___Post-It note ____social networking site

Describe your perfect first date.

Please attach one baby picture, three references, and a copy of your current immunization records.

I ATTEST THAT THESE ANSWERS ARE TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF PERJURY.

X _______________________________